Recently a
Facebook friend commented that they could not understand why there was so much
concentration on the NFL's nation anthem's protest when there was a church
shooting and the destruction of Puerto Rico happening at the same time. This
was an interesting question for me that I wanted to answer but knew I could not
in a short Facebook post. A couple of years ago I did a dissertation on the
root causes of church splits. In that research, I examined the power of
rituals. A ritual is an activity that is done on a routine basis by a person,
family, church, community, or a nation. The ritual has the power to unite and
heal. While it may be debatable whether a ritual should have meaning or if it
should be continued, it does not take away its strength. In fact, most people
will not think about the power of a ritual until it has been threatened (removed,
interrupted or changed).
A
ritual is a funny thing. They have the power that is given to them by the
community and the individual. In other words, the community may have one
purpose but the ritual takes on a separate, personal meaning for individuals.
The reason why is how the individual views and processes the ritual. For
instance, in the church a song service is a ritual (done on a routine basis). A
specific song may be sung on a regular basis. That song could also have been
sung at a funeral, wedding, baptism, or another significant event. In one
article, I read where a person sung a church hymn to help give them peace and
assurance after her father continually molested her. When an individual
attacked the song because they thought it was corny, she confronted them and
warned them to never mock it again. While the congregation views that song as a
worship song to God, the individual may (possibly subconsciously) view that
song as a way to heal as that song ministered to them during a specific trying
time. The ritual in question may be the specific tool that God is using to
bring healing and peace into that person's life. Therefore, that ritual becomes
very personal. When a ritual has become personal, individuals do not view it as
an attack on a thing (an inanimate object or activity) but as a close personal
friend that has to be protected. I once heard of a woman refer to a church
organ as an old friend. The reason she said that was that the practice of a
church organ in church had a close, personal connection to her just like a
person. To remove or change a ritual is to remove that person's mental and
emotional medicine from their emotional cabinet. That could open the floodgate
for the hurt, pain, and suffering to come flooding back but the person does not
understand how or why.
Many
who participate in the NFL national anthem protest say that they are not
attacking specific people (such as veterans) or America in general. To them,
they are viewing this ritual as a traditional practice that is not centered on
an individual's emotional experience. Let us assume that they are being honest
(I cannot judge a heart so I will take their statement at face value). What
they fail to recognize is that individuals do take it personal because that
ritual has become personal to them. The reason why is that the ritual is viewed
through the lens of something dear to their heart. For me personally, I stand
during the anthem because I think of my father, father-in-law, brother-in-law,
and church family that served in the armed forces. One of them nearly died in
the battle. Another lost a limb. I also think about the funerals I have
conducted with the 21-gun solute and the folded flag that was handed to a
family member. I do not view the anthem and the flag as an inanimate object or
another song. Instead I view it through the lens as personal. Other individuals
do too. Perhaps the national anthem is a ritual that helps them heal through
the tragedies of wars they were engaged in, people that have died, or moments
where the anthem brought people together.
The
protest also has a secondary ritual that has been interrupted. Football is a
traditional past time that has been enjoyed for decades. In fact, I have often
referred to the Superbowl as America's unofficial holiday. For many, Sunday
afternoon (or Saturday for college fans) is a tradition that was shared with
fathers/mothers, sons/daughters, brothers/sisters, or close friends. People
regardless of race, color, gender, religion or political beliefs enjoy the
games. You will enjoy the game with people whom you would never talk to in
another situation. The games are not just games, but a time to remember family
and process hurt or allow good memories that we do not consciously think about.
For others, those 2-3 hours of watching a game is a time to escape all the
problems they have in this world, from politics, work, and family. Individuals
who feel as if they are failing in life look to their sports team for success
they are not currently enjoying. This brings a sense of pride in a sports team.
In
a way, Sunday afternoon is an unofficial sanctuary that many treat with reverence
but do not know why. It is not because they worship sports (as some may think)
but because it is has a special meaning that they cannot explain.
Even
though football players do not think they are attacking their fans with their
protest, they are in a way they do not understand. The flag and an anthem have
a close, personal connection because that is how individuals view it. They
think not of the flag but of their family, friends, and neighbors who made
sacrifices. They think of the funerals where the flag was presented. They think
of their freedoms or the former lives they escaped from in other countries. They
think of the one time during the game that both sides united. They think of all
the times enjoying the game without politics. Their sacred time, space, and
sanctuary have been attacked even if they do not know how to verbalize it
(often we cannot verbalize our emotional feelings).
The
NFL had a close, personal connection to their fans that many did not think
could be broken. It did the second they protested during a national ritual that
united people. This is regardless of the purpose of the protest or the purpose
of the ritual. Even if the majority agreed that the protest was just (not
everyone does) and even if the majority thought the ritual was meaningless (not
everyone does), it would still cause a deep cut to many fans. In other words,
NFL players could have chosen a different time and a different avenue to make
the same exact point that would not have caused a deep divide among fans. In
fact, they could have done it in a different way and even changed many fans
minds about the cause they were fighting. The truth is that the NFL had other
protests that were noticed but did not receive the backlash that the current
protest is facing. When they decided to do it during a national ritual, they
brought in the emotion (good and bad) and the point of the protest has been
lost and it will not be regained. Those protesting for a cause have now lost
the battle on this front no matter what else they try to do.
My
advice to the NFL, even if you think your cause is just, if you ever want to
win back your fans, stop now. Apologize for the timing of the protests. Allow
the athletes a different avenue to express themselves and try to make this
right with your fans. Otherwise, the fans will abandon you because you did the
one thing that will separate them from you, interrupted their powerful ritual.
Simply
put, the power of a ritual is stronger than a cause (whether good or bad). We
will hold on to a ritual emotional even if we know mentally that is wrong or
outdated. We will side with a ritual regardless of a cause no matter what we
think of the cause. Rituals have a strong emotional ties to the people engaged
in them.
The
church needs to really examine this protest and the results today. Every church
has rituals (a practice on a routine basis) even if it is the most contemporary
service ever invented. In the church, we understand that sometimes rituals have
to be changed because they are no longer effective or because we discover that
they are not biblical. However, changing that ritual can be extremely
challenging and even deadly to the church.
In
my research, I discovered that changing a ritual was one of the root causes of
church splits. This was true regardless of the reason for the change or the
nature of the ritual. Rituals are powerful enough to cause close friends (and
families) to turn on each other and destroy the work of the church. In some
cases, rituals are viewed as being a part of the very fabric of Christianity
even if it's practice is not found anywhere in the Scriptures (some of our
rituals are not found in the Bible). The ritual may even be a unifying event
and the removal corrodes the goodwill in the church because nothing has
replaced it.
What
should a church do when it is going to remove a ritual? First, think if it is
absolutely necessary to remove the ritual. This is not based on YOUR personal
opinion but first on the teachings of the Bible and second on the overall
health of the congregation. Your desire to end a ritual may destroy the entire
work of the church. Is it worth it? Pray and fast seeking God's will. Second,
understand how personal it may be to individuals. That helps you to understand
the emotion that will be displayed. Find out everything you can about a ritual:
its roots, purpose, and meaning it has been given by individuals and the
community. Do not change a thing until you do your research. Third, recognize
that some will take it as a personal attack. You may not mean it as personal
but they will view it that way. It is time to be a shepherd, not a CEO. Also,
prepare yourself for personal attacks built on emotion, not intellectual
beliefs. Giving a rational explanation will not compute with the individual
having an emotional crisis. If you are removing their tool to gain emotional
healing then you are not going to have a rational discussion. Finally, if you
are going to remove a ritual first think of an equally powerful ritual that
will unite the entire church, not just certain segments of it. Rituals are
designed in the Bible to unify the body of Christ (such as communion). Make
sure that you continue that purpose in what you suggest or you will only shoot
yourself in the foot.
The
lesson that the church should learn from the NFL is how powerful rituals are
and how people will instantly take sides when a ritual is interrupted. Proceed
with caution, love, and grace when challenging any ritual or you will cause the
first crack (or the final one) that causes a church split.
